Cynicism and Sarcasm: Understanding Them and How to Play Nice

Cynicism and Sarcasm: Understanding Them and How to Play Nice

cyn·i·cism (copied from Google Search)

ˈsinəˌsizəm/

noun

noun: cynicism; noun: Cynicism

    1.

    an inclination to believe that people are motivated purely by self-interest; skepticism.

    "public cynicism about politics"

    synonyms:      skepticism, doubt, distrust, mistrust, suspicion, disbelief; More

    pessimism, negativity, world-weariness, disenchantment

    "theirs was a childhood of absent parents and broken promises, so cynicism was hardly a surprise"

    antonyms:      idealism

        an inclination to question whether something will happen or whether it is worthwhile; pessimism.

        "cynicism about the future"

    2.

    a school of ancient Greek philosophers, the Cynics.

sar·casm (copied from Google Search)

ˈsärˌkazəm/

noun

noun: sarcasm; plural noun: sarcasms

    the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

    "his voice, hardened by sarcasm, could not hide his resentment"

    synonyms:      derision, mockery, ridicule, scorn, sneering, scoffing;

    irony;    cynicism

We don’t get to choose our genetic makeup, and sometimes it feels we have little control over that which we are exposed or expose ourselves to, environmental or otherwise.  We are mostly able, however, to decide how we react to whatever it is we’re posed with. 

We can all relate to a multitude of difficulties we witness being experienced by others.  It used to be that you could only share experiences with others living in your local vicinity.  Then came easier transportation, paper correspondence, then electricity and voice calling, and with the construction of the Internet and its various tools we can now share with up to a billion others across the globe in seconds if we wish, depending on who is watching.  In other words, ideas travel fast…for better or for worse, depending on your perspective. 

My personal flavor of classically-defined cynicism is borne mostly of witnessing the global population explosion (it has almost doubled in the 45 years I’ve existed, 1969-present) and its various effects.  Fighting over access to resources…whether they be water, education or a Park Avenue penthouse.  The unfortunate part is that it is all too easy to lose yourself in this proverbial pit of despair; it breeds a very untrusting personality, and, in my case, being an introvert to begin with, a sometimes painful desire to stay away from people, never truly knowing what their motivations are.  Couple that with competition for said resources.  Not healthy when in truth you love meeting and exploring anything and everything with the monumental number of fantastic human beings out there.  Sharing.  So why is this so powerful?  Is it an addiction?  A form of depression seems likely…I haven’t even looked at DSM V yet…geez. 

For me, and likely (obviously?) millions of others, my sarcasm is conjured  primarily by my cynicism, among a smattering of other things.  Sarcasm…somehow I must say that I relish the partial definition in ‘to convey contempt’.  It oozes distaste of something or someone.  This is what got its claws so unfathomably deep into me…contempt.  Sarcastic contempt for those who focus on what I consider small, ‘stupid’ things.  Things of a small mind.  I won’t state my evolving list here, but if you’re reading this at least a few have entered your mind.  Consider popular culture – how often do you find yourself ‘deriding, mocking, ridiculing, scorning, sneering and scoffing at’ something or someone?  Unabashed displays of sarcasm toward people and their ideas.  I know.  Me too.  We all have those avenues we know exist that we just avoid…we avoid them because they likely conjure unhealthy responses from ourselves.  I’ll get to those later. 

Thinking the rest of the world is stupid is infectious.  The world is stupid.  Right?  The world of humans at any rate – the rest of it, in and of itself, is positively brilliant.  But, when your view is limited, you tend to focus on a small scene (please forgive my photography fixation) and thus have only limited exposure.  Limited exposure breeds a narrow interpretation of the world.  Stupid!  Like if you move to a city where you know virtually nobody and all you see are the negatives.  Dumb drivers, self-absorbed types, they’re all over everywhere but the density in a city allows for much more contact with them.  Caught up in their own motivations. 

Now, I’ve always been a very self-deprecating person.  I know I am intelligent by most measures but I flatly refuse to take myself seriously.  Unless I have what I genuinely believe is a good idea or work of art then I will try to get it out there; mostly for the intrinsic satisfaction that I’ve produced something for the benefit and/or enjoyment of others (though I wouldn’t mind being paid for it).  Fortunately I picked that up somewhere…I don’t recall where or how…and I don’t recall ever not being like that; I know it is a large part of my own mental and emotional survival.  It has helped me to successfully fend off that completely destructive notion that ‘I am better than everyone else’.  To me, that really means going off the deep end.  I’ve grappled with that part of my own ‘dark side’ if you will and it is not pretty.  It is not who I have been, who I am, and if I have any continued say, never a part of who I will become.  It is important to allow yourself to feel and think these thoughts but more important to try to understand them and how they’re a part of you; I’ll leave this subject for another article.  J 

I often see cynicism and sarcasm as being something of a tag-team of drugs, and they compliment/compound each other to a bewildering extent.  They are coping mechanisms.  Not being a typically addictive personality, they feel like what I consider to be my battle with (and finally my defeat of?… w0ot!) alcoholism since my mom’s latest cancer recurrence now four-and-a-half years ago which ultimately led to her death.  OK, maybe not quite as severe, but you get the point.  Self-medication; something as a salve to the sometimes painful ideas, words and actions of others.  This is where I have traditionally fallen back on the ‘sense of humor’ aspect of the two.  A sarcastic sense of humor; a cynically playful sense of humor.  Humor and laughter are therapy, right?  We see this as well in all aspects of our popular culture.  At least, what I deem to be the constructive facets of cynicism and sarcasm carry their own senses of humor.  Painful but healing, in a manner of speaking, as I usually view it as being combined with an attempt at understanding.  Those who are just plain mean are just compounding whatever the problem is; if the humor isn’t there they are purely destructive.  Even if they are posing solutions in their continued negativity they are still not going to be as effective as they could be, unless their purpose is to keep people beaten down into apathy.  The outlet…we all know that if you don’t have a playfully creative outlet for the sarcasm and cynicism that builds it will fester inside of and destroy you. 

Allowing yourself to feel something, even something ostensibly negative and destructive, is an important part of self-awareness, as long as it is identified, compartmentalized, understood and morphed into something constructive.  Not unlike being moltenly frustrated or angry at something and washing the dishes instead of breaking them.  Or, even better, making a new one.  Allowing yourself to laugh at and with the darkness inside of you that is sarcasm and cynicism is far more healthy than stewing in the perceived stupidity in others.  Besides, it is fun. 

© 2014 Michael Pichahchy